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Forgive me for being an ass, but…

October 17, 2011

Has someone ever told you that?  Or said it in various forms with dick replacing ass or some other derogatory self descriptor that usually a person is called when they say something critical.

Personally the best response came from a friend who was told that very thing, and the response was, well if you were not one, you would not have to apologize for it.  I think it has boiled down to our inability as humans to really deliver constructive criticism or other negative conversation.  Do we think it deflects any bad feelings?  Does saying that absolve the person of any guilt or repercussions for the words that follow that statement and the daggers they can become?  I do not think so.

Those words are not a shield.  What does work, however, is thinking about what you are wanting to say long before you utter that statement.  If you are in a conversation that is becoming contentious, and you have to sling something hurtful, wouldn’t it be better to temper that thought, and really see if it is worth saying?  I doubt very seriously the person on the receiving end of that phrase will think any higher of you for apologizing in advance for what you are going to say.  Seems to me you should not say it!

 

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 26, 2011 10:38 am

    I couldn’t agree more. You shouldn’t have to preface what you have to say with an apology unless it’s something that is going to deserve an apology after you say it. I’ve found more and more as I get older if it’s something that I think could be taken the wrong way or might offend I will mull on it until I can reword it without being hurtful or just not say it at all.

    Of course sometimes I still say dumb or hurtful things – but a real friend, like the ones who would let me know if I got schmutz between my teeth, will also call me out on it. 😉

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